


Afterlife

by chocopieyj



Series: Just Need A Time Out [7]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, M/M, Not really but I guess??, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, and a little bit of smut, life after death, why not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 08:47:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29507118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocopieyj/pseuds/chocopieyj
Summary: Youngjae and Jaebeom are having the time of their lives.No, scratch that, the time of their deaths.Or Youngjae and Jaebeom are ghosts just wanting to have some fun scaring people.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Series: Just Need A Time Out [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708972
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	Afterlife

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!

The sounds of the old wooden floor creak with each step, the two boys walk almost hugging, shoulder to shoulder and slowly, trying not to look back. Nor do they speak, the echo could be counterproductive in a place as gloomy as that.

It seemed like a good idea at first, but entering a haunted house no longer seems so much fun once inside, in the middle of the night - the empty house and broken doors and strange sounds, useless bulbs swaying with the little air that enters, crumbling walls and the few pieces of furniture there are only make them more nervous.

A screech is heard, one of them jumps in fear and the other stiffens, closing his eyes tightly before turning back.

"It's just the door," he whispers slowly, relaxing and moving on. The light from their flashlights barely illuminates the path and the more they venture through the house, the colder it feels. It's freezing for summer.

They go a little deeper, they're already shaking, and the environment feels heavy with each step, there are weird sounds that could be their very feet when walking or their shaky breaths waiting for something to happen suddenly without knowing exactly what or when.

They're about to reach the basement, they open the door when it slammed shut, as if someone is pulling it from behind. Scared, they take a few steps back trying to calm down and laugh nervously.

"It was the air," says one trying to make sense of this, although there are no gusts of air there, and the other nods, too scared to speak.

They try to turn the doorknob but it's locked, footsteps are heard on the floor above, heavy, slow...

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

The grinding of the gnawed wood from the stairs is heard painfully slow and close, and the temperature drops, the lights suddenly come on and off, including the flashlights, it blinks like crazy for a

second and then, nothing.

They go dark and the boys stand in the middle of the hall, hitting the flashlights to make it react.

The flashlight turns on, the basement door is opened with a bang and a low laugh resonates, both boys jump and walk backwards away from there but still walking slowly as if in a trance.

And behind them, a loud thud, like a scream and the two run as if their lives depended on it, they run until they reach the front door and they don’t stop to turn back even for a second, they jump over the old fence and climb hurriedly their bicycles, paler than ever and flee down the road, one of them notices the door closing behind them by itself and with his heart in his mouth, he pedales harder, leaving the house behind.

* * *

Inside the house, leaning over the railing, Youngjae laughs out loud, his voice echoes strangely bouncing off the walls, he's too amused by the spectacle he just witnessed.

"Point for me!" Jaebeom yells on the first floor, kicking the chandelier he just dropped. There are some crystals embedded in his arm and cheek, although he doesn't notice it cutting into his skin.

The boy on top rolls his eyes, “I admit it, that was fun. But, seriously? Opening doors and throwing a chandelier? Nothing original."

“Please, they ran in terror, I didn't have to show off to scare them. Cowards," answers the other, raising the flashlight that the two visitors threw in the frenzy when they left there, playing with it, "Your last point I accepted it, though they only yelled a little."

"Pff, alright."

On the wall behind him, there's a scoreboard carved with irregular lines, each one has a half assigned with their names and Youngjae scratches a line with a piece of glass on Jaebeom's half, which now has 66 points, tying the score.

Youngjae sits on the stairs next to Jaebeom who keeps inspecting the flashlight as if it's something he has never seen before and carefully starts to remove the glasses from his arm.

"Tie again," he announces with a hint of annoyance in his voice, he feels that they have been like this for centuries, Youngjae goes ahead a little then Jaebeom catches up with him and vice versa but soon, the competition will be over, the first one to reach 70 wins. He doesn't even remember why the hell they picked such a high number.

They could have left it at 5 or 10, but no, they wanted to go big and they had years of scaring teenagers who kept entering the house despite knowing that it wouldn't be very pleasant for them.

Though the truth is, this is all a lot of fun, sometimes they would chase them to the road acting like zombies or close the door to stop them from running away so quickly, seeing the expressions of fear on people's faces was great.

They had only done the competition thing to make it more interesting - win an unrestricted wish - but the truth is, he could never get bored of scaring people away with Jaebeom.

"Be ready to lose," Jaebeom declares with a smile and the other boy laughs.

"The only one who's going to lose is you."

"Keep dreaming, kid."

Youngjae rolls his eyes, not that he's much older but Jaebeom has always treated him like a baby. What's more, Youngjae has the theory that he died earlier, does that make him older in his current state or it doesn't?

"Let's go to sleep?" He suggests changing the subject, he's sure that he's going to win that competition and get a wish.

He _needs_ that wish.

"I don't want to sleep," Jaebeom pretends to shiver, now dead it's not like they can exactly feel any kind of cold or heat, it's impossible for them to have the chills but Youngjae supposes that it would be a natural reaction if they were alive.

To tell the truth, they don't need to sleep either, they only sleep to kill time but they're already dead, there's no harm in sleeping or not. They can't be tired, at least physically.

Youngjae frowns, his friend looks concerned, "Are you okay?"

“I've been having weird dreams… things… about my life? I think so."

"I thought you didn't remember anything?"

Jaebeom sighs wearily, “I only see loose things. Lights, white coats, strange and high-pitched sounds, people screaming and crying."

"A hospital?"

Jaebeom shrugs. He's disturbed by those dreams but Youngjae is a little envious that there's something, even bad, that he can remember.

It's not easy one good day to wake up in a weird place alone without remembering anything, only to find out that you're dead.

He didn't realize it right away - he tried to talk to people, to ask for help, he was lost and he didn't remember anything but his name, but no one answered and they ignored him, they walked to the other side, they turned their backs on him.

Until he noticed.

He slowly realized that he was dead and wandered alone through the city trying to find answers, to find his name, to come up with something that could explain what happened to him.

Then he met Jaebeom, just like him, he was a lonely being looking for answers, a scared boy whose face lit up when he saw someone just like him.

They haven't been apart since - they found this abandoned mansion on the outskirts of town and found it a good place to live.

They discovered together how being dead works, which actually has many advantages and is fun. Youngjae personally enjoys it a lot, and he doesn't miss life at all. 

Maybe it has something to do with him not remembering anything.

They haven't yet found their answers, but being together they are no longer afraid.

"I wish I could remember something," Youngjae said dreamily, sighing softly.

That's why he wants to win the competition, he wants to go back to the city for at least a couple of days to try to find himself again. See if finding something about him in life could make him remember.

But Jaebeom doesn't want to remember, for him his life is just a part of his dreams that he refuses to see completely.

Youngjae is almost certain that Jaebeom has seen more than he said and that something terrifies him, he's afraid of what he could have done or who he was, and he understands him but he really just needs to know.

He wants that wish for Jaebeom to go with him to the city, because the only thing he definitely doesn't want is to go there alone.

"It's not as good as you think, it's like a nightmare that repeats itself over and over again. But..."

"But what?"

“I have dreamed of someone laughing and a voice calling my name. It's so calming and sweet, it reminds me of…” Jaebeom stops and looks at him for a second, before smiling, “But just before I see who's calling me, I wake up. It's frustrating."

Youngjae caresses his arm with his fingertips slowly, he can feel a soft tickle on his skin — so light it's barely there but he feels it.

Jaebeom's skin against his is the only thing that causes him sensations.

"Shall we go to bed? It's okay if you don't want to sleep but being in the middle of the hall is kind of scary."

Jaebeom laughs, "You're the one who makes it scary, you're a horrible suffering soul."

"Look who's talking."

Youngjae gets up and disappears out of nowhere, materializing in what they can call their room.

It's the only room that's well cared for, closed from the inside so that no visitors go in there. 

They fixed it up to be habitable - they lifted the ugly wallpaper, hid the rips and the floorboards hardly squeak now.

They don't need anything so they just have a bed with an almost new mattress that they were fortunate to find. There everything was old and moldy and yes, they're dead but that doesn't mean they have to live in a pigsty.

When Jaebeom appears in the room, Youngjae is already in bed with his eyes closed, it's obvious that he's pretending and Jaebeom knows it, he stays standing in the middle of the room not knowing what to do, suddenly doubtful.

"Youngjae?"

"Hug me."

Jaebeom leans down behind him, wrapping his arms around him, their bodies immediately mold to each other and they feel a gentle tingling run through them.

Carefully, Jaebeom slips a hand under Youngjae's shirt - his skin is smooth and feels slippery, like a piece of silk between his fingers.

He loves to touch Youngjae, that soft electric tickle that runs through his body when he does it. 

It's as if the boy is his anchor to this world to which they no longer belong. It's good to know that even after death, there's something that makes him feel real.

"Youngjae," he calls out to him again in a whisper and feels the boy stir in his arms, sticking even closer to his body. Enjoying Jaebeom's fingers stroking his skin, waiting.

He with his lips touches his neck, drawing a line all the way down his shoulder. He wonders like many other times, why Youngjae is the only thing he can feel.

He could have a knife stuck through his leg and he wouldn't even notice it but with Youngjae, even the gentlest of rubs wakes up all his nerves and suddenly, every pore of his skin works.

He doesn't know if it's only with him or it applies to other ghosts or whatever they are, he doesn't know anyone else in his condition, he has not even seen any other being. It's just Youngjae for him and it's just him for Youngjae.

"Can I kiss you?" He asks in his ear, wanting to feel a little more.

Youngjae nods and turns around, looks at him for a long time before deciding to cut the gap between them.

They kiss slowly, taking care of every movement of their lips, very soft and delicate, Jaebeom can feel even the cracks of Youngjae's lips, fitting perfectly with those of his.

They move slowly, in perfect sync with the beat of a song that only their bodies know. It's so weird and so fascinating.

He could swear his heart is beating, even if it's impossible.

As they part, Youngjae smiles sweetly at him and hugs him tightly, holding on to the one thing that ironically is keeping him alive.

Maybe that's why he doesn't miss being alive, because here he has Jaebeom.

* * *

When a group of 6 walk into the house, it's weird, they don't usually have that many visitors at one time when it's not even close to Halloween, but they get the most out of it.

Tonight starts like any other, each person is a point, the one making someone scream more times wins - extra points if someone runs, leaves their friends or cries.

They do their usual tricks - lights go on and off suddenly, old furniture moves by itself, doors swing open and close, Youngjae laughs softly when all is quiet and Jaebeom interferes with an old radio signal making some music sound suddenly. 

Everyone is scared and trembling, they get some screams, Youngjae is sure that it won't be long for someone to run away.

Then everything starts to go wrong, the girl who goes behind the whole group stumbles, there are still glasses scattered all over the floor that hurt her, her flashlight rolls down reaching Jaebeom's feet who lifts it without thinking too much and lights up his face, he puts on a crooked smile and manic eyes and looks directly at her, Youngjae barely manages to contain his laugh - Jaebeom looks hideous and the girl is petrified.

Youngjae approaches from behind her, touches her shoulder with a finger with the sole intention of making her run away in terror but she screams as if she's tearing her throat and a second later she's lying on the floor, immobile.

The rest of the group runs towards her, trying to wake her up, they're worried, one of them calls 911.

Jaebeom and Youngjae look confused and scared, it wasn't the first time they did that, how did this happen? Youngjae goes to Jaebeom's side and they stare at the scene without being able to do anything, they don't move a finger until the paramedics arrive and quickly check her, they're talking but in Youngjae's ears it's nothing more than incomprehensible noise, they observe how they take her in the ambulance along with the rest of the group, leaving their bicycles outside the house.

When all is completely silent again, Jaebeom finally moves, staring at Youngjae with wide eyes, as if the one who saw a ghost was him.

Youngjae's not in better condition, he takes his friend by the arm and looks at him desperately, "What was that?!"

Jaebeom shakes his head, swallowing heavily. "Is she going to be fine?"

"What if we killed her?! Oh god, oh god, oh god."

"We didn't kill her!" Jaebeom declares but he doesn't even look sure, "She seemed fine."

"How is that being fine, Jaebeom?! We made her pass out, and if she had a stroke or something? We killed her, Jaebeom, we killed her…"

Jaebeom holds Youngjae by the shoulders, shaking him softly, "Calm down, please?" He tells him in a soft voice, the only one who seems to be having a panic attack is him, "The paramedics said she would be fine, I don't know what happened but she's not..."

"How do you know?!"

"The paramedics said so and her friends looked relieved too!"

Youngjae closes his eyes tightly but he doesn't remember any of that, not the faces of the other boys and girls, or the paramedics or anything. He shakes his head from side to side, pushing Jaebeom's hands away from him and walks steadily to the door.

"Where are you going?" He hears the other ask but he doesn't respond, he leaves the house following the tire tracks left by the ambulance in the mud.

"Youngjae, where are you going? Youngjae!" Jaebeom catches up with him and grabs his arm but the other immediately pulls away.

"I'm going to check on her."

"What? She'll be alright."

"You don't know that," And he wants to believe him, seriously, he knows that Jaebeom would never lie to him but he has to make sure that he doesn't turn out to be a murderer ghost. "I just want to verify it, alright?"

"We don't even know where they took her."

"I don't care."

"Jae..."

“You don't have to come with me, Jaebeom. I'm just going to check and come back. You can stay here."

Jaebeom looks back at the abandoned house and then at Youngjae, who has already taken up his footsteps, he sighs deeply, it's not a difficult decision when he runs to Youngjae's side, "I'm going with you."

Youngjae tries but can't help but smile.

* * *

Years have passed since the last time they have gone beyond the stony path that separates the house from the road to the city.

Youngjae has a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that won't go away and he wonders if it's because of the passed out girl or something else. 

He feels Jaebeom next to him, he looks at him sideways and he also looks a bit upset, he keeps twisting his fingers with his other hand nervously.

Lightning breaks the sky and without warning small drops fall on them, it's not a very strong rain but they both know that it won't be long before it becomes a real storm.

"Wouldn't it be better to go back and look for her tomorrow?" Jaebeom asks in a whisper, looking up at the darkened sky.

"Don't worry," Youngjae says looking at him with a smirk, "It's not like rain can kill us or something."

"Ha-ha, so funny."

They keep walking shoulder to shoulder, Youngjae doesn't quite understand the reason why Jaebeom looks so nervous, it was just a little harmless water even though he himself feels heavier, like he's drowning, "Are you okay?"

The other sighs, "Yes... I don't know, I don't think I really like the rain."

"Yeah, me neither. Let's hurry up."

It's not long after they finally reach the river, only a bridge separates them from the city now but the strange feeling intensifies and Jaebeom is staring at the water - with the rain the river looks choppy and furious, plus it's all dark, barely lit by the yellowish road lights. It seems really dangerous to be even close to there at the moment.

"Let's keep going?" Youngjae asks softly as they stand on the edge of the bridge staring at the mad water for long minutes.

"I..." His friend finally takes his eyes off the river and looks at him with a lot of doubts in his eyes, he's trembling and he looks more nervous and insecure than ever, he looks back at the water for a second before looking at him again, "I don't know Youngjae-yah... the closer I get it's like my lungs are being crushed with a stone... Are you sure you want to go?"

Youngjae isn't sure about anything now but they don't have much left, they just have to cross the bridge. Also, what is the worst thing that could happen to them if they're already dead anyway? The river can't harm them, it is only water and that's it. It's just water, he convinces himself before nodding and walking on.

The river is so agitated that it gets to wet them and suddenly his body becomes heavy and slow, he's drowning in air - he feels as if someone is pressing his throat and everything inside him is swelling, he's suffocating and he can't do anything, his body trembles and his legs no longer responds.

Jaebeom coughs violently as if he too is choking but still gets closer to him, and manages to ask in a guttural whisper, "Are you okay?"

Youngjae nods but can't move, he doesn't understand it, he's scared and the thought that comes to his head is so stupid, he thinks he's going to die.

He tries to laugh but can't and hugs his ribs, when he looks at Jaebeom he realizes that he's not in better condition, he's also disturbed and he's breathing agitatedly but very slowly, and it hurts.

"We have to go back," he finally tells him and the other nods, more than willing to get away from there.

Youngjae holds the handlebars for a moment to regain his balance, but he receives an electric shock as if one of the lightning in the sky had hit him directly, his mind fills with too many images, flashes of everything and then nothing, he sees things behind his eyelids and the sound of the thunders bursts his eardrum.

He looks at Jaebeom once more before another bolt of lightning ignites the sky and everything vanishes.

* * *

_The sofa was a bit uncomfortable and too small for the both of them, but they managed to suit_ _themselves in such a way that they were comfortable while the movie played on the laptop screen in front of them._

_Youngjae wasn't paying much attention, more focused on the soft, rhythmic heartbeat ringing in his ear, so calming and lulling._

_"Don't fall asleep," Jaebeom spoke to him softly, running his fingers through his hair._

_Youngjae_ smiled, shaking _his head, "I'm just resting my eyes."_

_"You better go home, go get some sleep."_

_Jaebeom made a gesture to get up but Youngjae hugged his body tightly, he didn't want to leave yet, he wanted to stay with him as long as possible._

* * *

He opens his eyes and Jaebeom is a few inches from his face, he seems concerned and speaks to him although Youngjae can't hear him, his mind only chases the memories of him.

* * *

_Jaebeom's laugh echoed in the pool, he was watching Youngjae playing in the water like a little kid, waving his arms making the water splash everywhere._

_"Get in the water, Beom!" the boy screamed, wetting him with small drops that reached him until finally the other nodded, they both laughed and smiled so much that their eyes were little crescents that hid their irises._

_Jaebeom rolled up his pants to his knees and sat on the edge of the pool, watching Youngjae float on his back, eyes closed, expression calm and content. Free from the stress that he always seemed to carry from the pressure his parents inflict._

_His smile became much softer when he watched him, the water always put Youngjae in a better mood when he was overthinking things, it was therapeutic. For Jaebeom, his happy place was wherever Youngjae was._

_"Do you want to be my boyfriend?" He asked then, almost suddenly, he had never really thought about it too much - how he wanted to ask or when, but being with Youngjae, he didn't need to think, the moment was perfect like any other, with Youngjae everything was so obvious._

_Youngjae opened his eyes and got up so fast that it took a few seconds for him to stay on his feet properly, he looked surprised but Jabeom didn't understand why. It was evident how in love he was._

_"You asked first," Youngjae whispered, swimming towards him slowly, "Why?"_

_Jaebeom frowned, "What do you mean why?"_

_"I wanted to ask you first, now you already ruined it."_

_“Oh, sorry,” said the other but he was smiling almost mockingly, “Forget I said it then. Ask me the question."_

_Youngjae rolled his eyes, snorting. When he was close enough he crossed his arms over Jaebeom's thighs and looked up at him angrily, "You stole my moment."_

_Jaebeom wrinkled his nose tenderly, "Sorry."_

_Youngjae hid his face from him for a couple of seconds before looking back at him, but now he was smiling, "Do you want to be my boyfriend?"_

_"Yes."_

_The smiles on both faces widened, Youngjae came out of the water and hugged him, the other didn't care that he left him soaked, "Kiss me?"_

_Jaebeom didn't need words to answer that request._

* * *

A deafening thunder brings him out of his stupor, he looks for Jaebeom with his eyes and finds him crouched on the floor, holding his stomach as if he had just vomited out his intestines, his eyes closed in a painful expression and he trembles.

He wants to go to his side, shout his name, hug him and comfort him, but now just seeing him crushes his heart, it hurts.

* * *

_A soft sound at his window woke him up, Jaebeom was outside, on the fire escape, waving at him._

_Youngjae got up immediately, opening the window and Jaebeom guided him to the roof. They could see the entire city downtown from there, the lights of the buildings, the cars that still passed despite being late and the stars._

_Youngjae took his hand and they fell silent, just looking around._

_"Look there," Jaebeom gently squeezed his fingers and pointed at one particular star, one that looked bigger and brighter than the others. "I'm going to baptize that star with your name, so that I can see you always."_

_Youngjae's cheeks turned a soft pink, barely visible in the poor lighting of the place. His heart skipped a beat as he tried to hide his smile from him._

_"That one so small? I want to be that one," he complained pointing to the moon._

_Jaebeom snorted, "You know the moon is not even a star, right?"_

_"Yes, I know that, smart ass," The other rolled his eyes, "But when you look for me, you won't be confused. Stars all look the same."_

_"Huh… you might be right."_

_"I am."_

_"The moon will be, then. When we're not together you just have to look at it to know that I am right there, seeing it just like you are."_

_"And as why wouldn't we be together at some point?" Youngjae frowned, pulling away from him._

_"Well, I don't know, when you go on a trip with your parents and you miss me?"_

_"I'll stay with you." The other crossed his arms, "Promise me that you'll always be with me."_

_Jaebeom smiled, hugging him tightly, "I promise."_

_"Even if we get old and have to live in a nursing home?"_

_"Even if your teeth fall out and you go bald."_

_"Hey!" Youngjae exclaimed, trying unsuccessfully to shake off the hug, "The only bald one here is you."_

_Jaebeom laughed, "How about this? Even after I'm dead, I'll come looking for you."_

_"No thanks. Please cross over to the other side, you can wait for me there."_

_"What if you die first?"_

_"I'm going to come scare you every night, until you die too."_

_"And then?"_

_"Then we stay together for all eternity."_

_"That sounds just awfully long," Jaebeom said in a groan, grimacing._

_"Promise me." Youngjae whispered, kissing his neck gently._

_The other sighed, Youngjae could hear the smile in his voice, "In this life and the next and every other after that, I'll always find you. I promise."_

* * *

Youngjae sits up, hugging his legs and hides his face on his knees. The heavy rain doesn't stop and soaks them to the bone.

* * *

_"What are you doing?!" Mr. Choi's voice rang out angrily behind them._

_Youngjae immediately broke the kiss, but didn't stray too far from Jaebeom._

_"Father…" he whispered, looking scared for the first time in his life._

_"So?" This time, the man looked at Jaebeom and, despite feeling intimidated by his presence, stepped forward, covering Youngjae with his body._

_"Mr. Choi, I would like to go out with Youngjae."_

_Mr. Choi raised an eyebrow, "Looks like you already do, don't you?"_

_Jaebeom hesitated, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment, "Well… yeah, we're dating… but…"_

_The man sighed, raising a hand to silence him, and nodded. Relaxing his expression he looked at Youngjae, "You and I have to talk," he turned to see Jaebeom for a second, "After dinner. You can stay and eat with your date, if you want."_

_With that said, he went into the elevator hall without turning back. Jaebeom raised his eyebrows in surprise, Youngjae looked just as confused as him._

_"Do you think... your father is okay with us?"_

_Youngjae shrugged, "It seems so."_

_They both smiled in relief, one less worry was always a good thing._

* * *

With his eyes narrowed, Youngjae manages to see Jaebeom finally getting up and looks at him with an eyes that Youngjae hasn't seen before, with too much love.

* * *

_Youngjae laughed out loud, a sound that Jaebeom had always loved._

_"Jaebeomie!" He yelled at him trying to balance on the skates, flapping his arms like wings before, inevitably, landing on the floor._

_"Babe!" Jaebeom rushed to his side, squatting down, looked at him worriedly, "Are you okay?"_

_The concern quickly faded, seeing him laugh at his spectacular fall, his own laugh echoing Youngjae's._

_He carefully helped him up, with one arm around his waist leading him to a bench where Youngjae sat relieved that he was no longer on 6 wheels._

_"Skates aren't for me," he sighed, rolling his feet back and forth._

_Jaebeom came over and kissed him lovingly, he had kissed Youngjae countless times but he was still amazed at how good his lips tasted, like the cherry of his lip balm, and how perfect they were for him, just the right size to fit his own. He regretted the moment of parting, as always, it felt too soon._

_Youngjae gave him a full smile, perfect commercial teeth, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and his cheeks popping into two little cake pops. There were no words to describe how precious he was._

_The sunlight, dull in comparison, was no match for him._

_"Tell me you love me." Youngjae asked and there was nothing easier for Jaebeom than to confess his feelings as many times as he wanted to hear them._

_"I love you."_

_That smile couldn't get any bigger, yet it did, "I love you too."_

_"How much?" Jaebeom wanted to know._

_"Pi times the radius squared."_

_"You love me as much as the area of a circle?"_

_Youngjae nodded naturally, "Circles are infinite figures."_

_Red dark splotches covered his face up to his neck, his skin burned and he had to cover himself so Youngjae wouldn't see how he just lost all his cool._

_Youngjae laughed so hard and Jaebeom wasn't able to calm his heart down until two days later._

  
  


* * *

But the reflection in his eyes shows something else, something that overshadows love. Too much pain, too much guilt.

Youngjae wants to ask him to forget it, he just needs him to love him.

* * *

_They were sitting at the back door of the apartment building, hiding mainly from Youngjae's family, but it was a good place to talk, no one used that entrance except for the maintenance employees._

_Youngjae rested his head on Jaebeom's shoulder, sighing as he heard the comforting words from his boyfriend._

_"Your parents only want the best for you." Jaebeom whispered, stroking his hands slowly._

_“I don't want to go to Europe. I want to stay here with you."_

_“It's only 6 months. This will be good for you Youngjae-yah, for your future. Don't stop yourself for me."_

_"College here is the same as in Europe, it's all the same."_

_"Jae..."_

_"Do you want me to leave this urgently?" He asked him, masking his hurting heart with slight annoyance. He was fighting to stay by his side, why Jaebeom didn't care?_

_"It's not that, of course I want you to stay here with me, but it wouldn't be fair for you to deny a lot of incredible experiences just for me." Jaebeom forced him to look up, smiling sweetly at him, "I'm going to wait for you, as long as it takes, I'm going to wait for you."_

_"I don't want to go." He said definitively, because he wouldn't go, he wouldn't please his parents because he knew perfectly well that this was not because of his résumé, they were doing it just to get him away from Jaebeom._

* * *

It's like lightning splitting him in two, but it's just Jaebeom and his hand gently resting on his back.

It was electrifying.

* * *

_Jaebeom was touching him slowly, on purpose perhaps, with the mere objective of torturing him and it was working, he was desperate, the other's fingertips that barely touched him were driving him crazy. He hated it so much._

_"More," he groaned in a pitiful sound, he felt Jaebeom smile against the skin of his thighs._

_"More what?"_

_Faster, deeper, harder, more whatever. Youngjae growled scratching his back as hard as he could._

_"Ouch," Jaebeom complained silently but if he had the right to treat him however he wanted, Youngjae could also do whatever he wanted to him._

_"Stop being an asshole," he asked him in a shaky, needy sigh._

_"Are you okay?" Jaebeom whispered in his ear, his fingers brushing against his prostate, Youngjae knew he was missing it on purpose._

_He shook his head furiously, his mind so clouded that he could barely form the words he sought, "I need you to fuck me."_

_His moan was caught between his clenched teeth, Jaebeom pressed his fingertips into him at the perfect angle to make him lose himself, thick drops of precome dripped from his dick, joining the puddle on his belly._

_"Jaebeomie," he growled pitifully, his hands clenching the flesh of his shoulders for the sole purpose of leaving marks on him. His teeth joined too, marking the skin on his neck._

_His boyfriend took his trembling thighs, pushing them against his body, and finally, finally, he buried himself in him with a sharp, accurate blow._

_Youngjae gasped, his breath got caught for a second and short, airy moans followed as Jaebeom locked himself inside him relentlessly._

_Jaebeom pinned him to the mattress, pounding in and out of him swiftly, moving_ _his hips in sync with exactly what he needed. Youngjae hugged him around his shoulders, drawing him to him._

_His tongue playing with his in a kiss without rhythm, he only gasped in the other's mouth, he buried his nails in his back embracing that sensation, him, the smell of him over his body._

_"You feel so good, love," Youngjae whimpered, followed by a high-pitched sound that escaped him after a particularly accurate hit._

_Jaebeom kissed his neck and his fingers dug into his waist, moving slightly slower, but deeper, harder thrusts._

_The light that filtered through the curtains bathed his face and he looked too handsome, unfairly sensual even with his hair stuck to his sweaty forehead._

_Youngjae's erection was trapped painfully between their bodies, barely receiving attention only from Jaebeom's swaying that brushed against his abdomen, but his boyfriend knew exactly what to do to turn him into a nerve-wracking pudding._

_And he closed his fist on his cock as he impaled him with his own, Youngjae was reduced to nothing, his body shook with hard spasms and he barely got enough coherence to moan his name at the right moment of their synchronized orgasms._

_Youngjae smiled, completely in bliss, gently stroking Jaebeom's back, he was panting on top of him, and regardless of the come that trickled down his thighs or that he could barely breathe properly with all of his weight on him, he was the most happy there._

_Being like this together, as one body, is the only thing that mattered now._

* * *

"Don't touch me!" Youngjae forcefully pushes him away, he has so much on his mind that he barely manages to focus on something, and he still doesn't understand how random images can hurt so much.

He fails to see the tears rolling down Jaebeom's face, camouflaged with the storm water.

* * *

_"You said you didn't care if I liked men!" Youngjae screamed so loudly that his voice could be heard outside his father's study, right up to Jaebeom's ears, who waited in the living room uncomfortably._

_"I don't care, but not him!" His father yelled back with the same intensity, "That boy is not for you, he's not your same class!"_

_"I don't mind!"_

_"I do! You're not going to date a janitor's son, he doesn't even have anything to drop dead! He's going to ruin your future." His father sat on the desk, looking at him with his arms crossed and his mother was just there, next to him doing absolutely nothing for this idiotic reasoning. “You want to be with a man, fine. Whatever you want. But look for someone from a good family, with a good future."_

_"I love Jaebeom!" Youngjae tore his throat, he was getting tired of this argument and he wasn't going to allow anyone, not even his parents, to put Jaebeom down like that._

_"You don't love him, please." His father had the audacity to laugh, he laughed, “It's just a little adventure of yours. You have nothing in common with that boy, he's just the novelty for you, that's not love. But your affair has lasted too long and it's time to finish it."_

_"It is love!"_

_“You're going to finish college in England and you're going to stay there, taking over our office there. You're going to forget this ridiculous pointless romance."_

_"I'm not leaving him!" Youngjae was so furious that tears were running down his face, he wasn't going to hear a single word on that anymore. He left the office slamming the door and ran to Jaebeom's side, hugging him tightly._

_"It's okay baby, it doesn't matter." Jaebeom whispers softly to him, Youngjae furiously shook his head, he had his face hidden on his chest._

_“It's not okay, that was awful and it was so wrong. What kind of people they are if they only care about money?! You are more valuable than anything in the world. Sorry, I'm sorry."_

_"You don't have to apologize for them, love."_

_"Jaebeomie?"_

_He received no response, it was as if Jaebeom was giving up, making decisions without him._

_Youngjae took him by the hand and led him to the roof, where it was just the two of them._

_“I'm not going to leave. I don't care if they drag me by my hair to the airport, I'm not leaving."_

_Jaebeom chuckled softly, stroking his cheek, “If you go, I'll wait for you Youngjae, I promised you. It doesn't matter if it's 6 months or 3 years, I'll wait for you."_

_"NO!” Youngjae yelled in frustration, “What am I going to do without you? I don't want to."_

_"I'll call you every day, it'll be fine."_

_Youngjae shook his head, “You don't understand, Jaebeomie, if I go I'm not coming back. If I accept what they want now, it'll be like accepting that I'll live under their mandate forever. I don't want their money, I'm going to be with whoever I want and do what I want from now on."_

_"You're not thinking with your head," The other tried to reason, he really understood but he couldn't let him risk everything like that._

_"Their money has always been conditional and they're going to use it to make me do whatever they want!" Youngjae was sure of it, that they paid him college, that thanks to them he had a good position in a company, that he owes them obedience, it'll be a never ending circle. “I think I'm very capable of being successful in the future without his help. Don't you?"_

_"Of course you are!" But the money certainly helped._

_"Then say no more." Youngjae declared smiling at last, his cheeks stained with his tears marks, "I'm going to plan it and everything is going to be fine."_

_Jaebeom wanted to believe him but he wasn't so sure how he was going to leave his family just like that. He sighed heavily and just hugged him._

_No matter what, he was going to be there for Youngjae._

* * *

_Jaebeom woke up startled, only to find Youngjae shaking him hard, he had tears in his eyes, and he was looking at him desperately. Over the years, Youngjae had learned how to enter his room without being seen, sometimes on nights when he had arguments with his parents, he would go to his room._

_"Baby, what happened?" He asked trying to chase the dream away and put all of his attention on the boy in front of him._

_"I heard them talking, they're going to take me to the airport tomorrow, we're all moving!"_

_Jaebeom paled, they were supposed to still have a couple of months left before he went away, and even though Youngjae said he wasn't going to leave, Jaebeom was already resigned that he couldn't do anything to stop it, he was preparing to say goodbye. But not so soon._

_And if his parents went with him, Jaebeom knew there would be nothing he could do to communicate with him, they would watch him 24/7 until he forgot about him._

_"Tomorrow?!"_

_"I don't want to go!" Youngjae said in a shaky voice, but his eyes were determined, he had just made a decision. "Runaway with me."_

_He told him and that was when he noticed a small travel backpack next to him, the obvious answer was yes but Youngjae's parents were rich, there was no place on earth where they could hide, "Where to?"_

_"We go anywhere, it doesn't matter, I just don't want to be here."_

_"What if they find us?!"_

_"They won't be able to search forever, let's just keep driving."_

_Jaebeom sighed, looking at the window, the sky was falling, they wouldn't get far with a storm like that._

_"I don't want to do it without you, Jaebeomie, but if I stay... I'm not going to be with you anyway." Youngjae took his arm, his eyes flooded with despair, “I understand that you don't want to go with me, your family is good to you, but I don't want to live like this anymore. I want to be free."_

_He grabbed his backpack and went to the window, "I'll try to call you when I'm settled somewhere."_

_Jaebeom's heart broke, he couldn't see him go, he didn't want to let him go. Yes, his family was important to him, but they weren't Youngjae. Of course he would go anywhere he was and later, they could think about the rest._

_"I'm going with you."_

_Youngjae smiled._

* * *

_Bad idea. It was a bad idea to drive in that weather, they had to stop and reconsider their options._

_"Baby, listen to me." Youngjae was shaking his head, since Jaebeom told him that they couldn't go on like this, “I don't see anything with the rain, we have to go back, stay in my room until it stops, then we'll figure something out. You can think again about your parents, but…"_

_"I'm not going to think about anything." Youngjae denied once more, this time almost angry, "I'll walk from here, no matter how, I'm going away."_

_"Youngjae, don't be irrational."_

_"Why are you coming with me if you really didn't want to?"_

_"Of course I want to! But…"_

_"Leave me here."_

_"I'm not leaving you in the middle of nowhere, please Jae, let's just stop until the rain calms down, okay?"_

_Youngjae looked at him doubtfully but nodded, it was obvious that the rain wouldn't let them go too far, "Just don't abandon me."_

_"Never."_

_They were near the river, Jaebeom decided that he would stop once they crossed it, and they could go on from there when the storm stopped. Anyways, Youngjae's parents wouldn't find out that he left until the next morning and by then they would be far away._

_The river was moving furiously, it was so choppy that waves washed over his car, he could barely see anything and he tried to speed up, just a little, enough to get out of there and avoid the car getting stuck in the mud in the middle of the bridge._

_But it was enough so that the old tires of the car couldn't support it, it skidded off and the brakes no longer responded, he lost control of the wheel and the last thing he managed was to pull the handbrake, without achieving anything but crashing on the non-resistant railing._

_They were falling, Youngjae couldn't see anything but darkness, he held Jaebeom's hand tightly as the hood broke the surface of the water, and it was deep and black. The water began to enter the car faster than he expected._

_He looked at his boyfriend once more, he was unconscious and a line of blood adorned his face, he wanted to cry._

_He thought he saw in the deep something bright, a silver reflection in front of them and then he thought, it wasn't the bottom of the river, it was the night sky and he was seeing stars._

_The water reached his neck, he wished he had told Jaebeom he loved him one last time._

_And he wished, wished with all his heart to stay with Jaebeom, to find him on the other side too._

* * *

"Jaebeom?"

Jaebeom is breathing heavily, his already watery eyes filling with tears but despite everything, he manages to smile, "Hi baby."

Youngjae's face twitches when hearing it, his entire body shaking in violent spasms that accompany his tears and pitiful sounds that he barely recognizes as his comes out of his throat.

And he runs, runs and jumps wrapping his arms and legs around Jaebeom, hugging him tightly. He remembers him too - Jaebeom's arms hold his waist, accepting all of him.

He remembers him.

Jaebeom kisses him over and over again, filling his face with little kisses and when he comes to his lips, they kiss with such desperation that they move awkwardly, it's a mess of meat and saliva and tongues. But it doesn't matter because they're together and he has missed him so much that his chest hurts.

It's like they haven't seen each other in 300 years and finally, they can finally be together again, even though they've been together all this time.

When they part, Jaebeom puts him down gently and kneels in front of him, he's crying and hugs him, hiding his face in his stomach and repeatedly apologizes.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm so sorry… I…"

Youngjae caresses his hair, he doesn't understand, "Shh… it's okay, everything is okay."

The other shakes his head, "I... because of me we are..."

"It was an accident!" Youngjae exclaims softly and kneels in front of Jaebeom, staring at him, "It wasn't your fault, do you hear me? It wasn't your fault."

Youngjae kneels next to him and hugs him tightly, maybe they could have done many things differently that night but they couldn't blame themselves, they are here now, all this time they hadn't been away. 

Jaebeom kept his promise, although maybe they didn’t remember it, they have been existing together.

How lucky is that?

"I love you," Jaebeom whispers in his ear and Youngjae realizes that it's no longer raining, and that he's not hurting at all anymore, that everything is fine.

"Say it again," he asks and Jaebeom smiles.

"Love you."

"I love you so much." Youngjae says it back and his heart is finally at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been working in this for a loooong while unable to actually past any 3 pages, and this couple of days my Internet broke down I went to my office 2 days you guys, just 2 days and this thing practically wrote itself.
> 
> I discovered I'm pretty productive in the office, I wonder if also applies for my actual work lol 
> 
> Anyways, I really liked how this turned out, I'm a bit proud of the result so I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, tell me what you think! :)


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